BACHILLERATO. Essay writing: common mistakes and proposed correction.

The mistake or un-English sentence comes first, the proposed English expression of the same idea follows:

The mobile phone is more important for the people. MISTAKE
Mobile phones are really important for us. PROPOSED CORRECTION

You can use the mobile phone to locate somebody.
You can use the mobile phone to get a hold of / stay within reach of somebody.

  1. The children of now like mobiles
    young children today like mobiles

  2. It allows that he can establish contact with friends.
    It lets him get in touch with friends.

  3. The headphones to listen to music make in the future to have ear problems.
    The headphones we use to listen to music on the phone may eventually cause hearing problems.

  4. It is only for important things.
    It is for important matters only.

  5. Children can be located by fathers.
    Children can stay within the reach of their parents.

    Children learn to talk bad.
    Children get used to bad spelling and syntax.

  6. They abandon the relationship with the people of their years.
    They may stop relating to children their same age.

  7. They shouldn’t have mobile phones becouse is damaging for their live.
    They shouldn’t have mobile phones, since they are too negative for their childhood.

  8. He is only eight-years.
    He is just eight years old / eight / an eight-year-old.

  9. You can know where is your kid wherever you like.
    You will know where your little ones are whenever you want to.

  10. With only eight or nine years old.
    When they are just eight or nine.

  11. Mobile phones shouldn’t be for children because they hadn’t head for handle them.
    (Cutting-edge) mobile phones aren’t made for children because they are not sensible enough to use all of their functions properly.

  12. The advantages that have mobile phones are that …
    The advantages that mobile phones have …

  13. Many people buy a mobile phone to their sons …
    Many people buy a mobile phone to their children / offspring …

  14. In spite of the children are very small.
    Although the children are very small.

  15. You will can better control your son…
    You will be able to control your son better…

  16. Many people think that little children would have mobile phones for their parents can vigilate them.
    It is usually believed that / Many people think that … little children should have mobile phones so that parents can WATCH / KEEP AN EYE on their loved ones.

  17. They aren’t responsable for using mobile phones.
    They aren’t responsible enough to know how to use a mobile phone wisely.

  18. But if you have an age like me, I am seventeen years old,…
    However, if you’re seventeen like me …

  19. Parents mustn’t buy a mobile phone for children, just for emergencies.
    Parents shouldn’t buy a cutting-edge cell phone, just a simple mobile phone for emergencies.

  20. Children stay in his home
    Children stay at home / stay in

  21. He goes with other adult
    He goes outside with another adult

  22. Young people prefer the video game before that a game of street
    Young people prefer video games to street games / playing video games rather than playing outside

  23. In this essay appear a daily situation.
    In this essay we have to tackle a controversial / current / hot topic today:

  24. These are the aptitudes more simples of the mobile phones of today. Moreover, it has got internet, camera of photos, plays…
    These are just the plain functions every phone includes, though most contemporary phones boast a video and photo camera, mp3 player and even provide you with access to the Internet

  25. … in spite of in really they are secondary functions
    Although they are actually secondary functions